Caspian

A Beautiful Year

     The last two weeks since the funeral of our little prince have been overwhelming. We miss Caspian every moment of every day and we doubt that time will change that. But, we are hoping that recording little details and feelings we are experiencing will help to heal our hearts and bridge the time until we see him again.  We hope that sharing this blog as a journal of thoughts, feelings, and memories, the good and the bad, will not only help us, but will be something others might look to for healing.

     We always joked that our life was perfect. We had the perfect family "two girls, two boys." As we have thought about our sorrow we have realized that we can't let it destroy our perfect family. We still have three amazing children here with us who need their mom and dad. We are finding that as we choose to focus on the tender mercies from the Lord our sorrow becomes more bearable. New Years Eve as we were driving to the cemetery, the lightest snow was falling. It glistened like glitter floating from heaven. It was beautiful. As we stood at Caspian's grave and looked out over the valley we saw paper lanterns drifting slowly up toward the clouds as if reaching for heaven. It was beautiful. We looked at our family here on earth and we saw how beautiful  it still is and we decided that this would be our beautiful year.

     We are looking forward to our beautiful year of healing, of love, and of togetherness. Today, we watched a video of Caspian laughing. It is beautiful. What a sound! Heaven must be full of giggling angel babies because there is no more joyful noise in all the world. When nothing else can soothe Mommy's sorrow this little ten seconds of laughter does. We are looking forward to the day when we will be with our little boy again, until then we will make a beautiful life for ourselves and our "perfect family."

The first ten seconds are the most beautiful sound in the world.

Make sure your volume is up!